[BREAKING] Tim Sylvia Signs with Strikeforce! Not.

When did confirmed rumors become breaking news? Couldn’t you have at least put an entertaining or creative spin on the article so that I didn’t click on it, read it and decide to never visit a site again? Would it have killed you to have written, “Much like Adam Ant pulling publicity stunts to avoid falling into complete obscurity, Tim Sylvia has apparently started asking cousins of his to call news outlets in order to spread the rumor that he’s fighting for Strikeforce, a publicity move that’s normally regulated to has been’s and C-level television stars. Sylvia’s shameful plug can be added to his long list of mortifying human achievements that would drive most of us regular tax paying citizens to suicide, this list of his that already contains, shitting his pants during his match against Assurio Silva, also being popped for steroids because he was insecure about his tummy, this all coupled with the fact that he currently sets off metal detectors because he has bones made of glass and his armbar defense is to stand his way out of it ensure that we may never see Tim Sylvia outside of an Indian Reservation or venue that seats 120 people. It’s sad, because he could have been much more but for whatever reason never really was.”

Took me 2 minutes.